Elasti-Woman

If I had to pick a superhero to represent how I feel much of the time, I think I would pick that character from a kid's movie a few years ago that had the super duper ability to stretch himself in multiple directions. I really am a master multi-tasker--when I am waiting for one thing I will accomplish many others. When talking on the phone, I am able to answer several emails (while fully participating in the conversation with the person I'm talking with) or complete a stack of paperwork. But some days, when I have meetings back to back to back, I feel if I ONLY had that superpower, I could actually be three places at once, and get everything done on my never-ending "to-do" list. (See http://www.dccomics.com/heroes_and_villains/?hv=origin_stories/plastic_man.)

Today was one of those days. I'm preparing for a training session that I am facilitating all day tomorrow for 20 people; organizing materials and roles for my other staff to play in that training; answered several questions from staff members; ordered several thousands of dollars worth of furniture and equipment; planned and co-led a staff meeting; attended three meetings without time in between to breathe (and literally running to the next meeting because they all ran over their allotted time); showed an apartment to a potential renter; cooked dinner for my kids; then worked at home for two hours trying to catch up on what I couldn't get done at work. Whew! I am tired just writing that!!!

Now, when I look at that list of what I accomplished, I should be thinking, "Wow, I did all that? In one day? REALLY?" But, instead, I feel as if I didn't accomplish enough. I feel severely lacking in what I did NOT accomplish. So what is wrong with that picture??? (Did I mention that I am really good at delegating, and have done so with a lot of other tasks?) Yet, I still have about eleven things on my task list on Outlook that I didn't even look at last Friday OR today, all of which probably represent about 1/2 hour to 1 hour of work each to finish. Several of which have been my back-burner items for up to two months because they weren't a priority then and I simply did not have time to get them done before. Now, they are coming up to be of some priority, and I will have to pay attention to them soon. Looking at my calendar, I hope to find the time. I do not miss deadlines, and I'm not about to start now!

As a rule, I have always been extremely hard on myself, sometimes to the point of ridiculous-ness. I am aware of the high expectations I have of myself, but I have never been able to let go of the idea of perfectionism. I am far from perfect, but my expectations have always been to maintain the best standards I possibly can, and never, ever, EVER let those around me down. I only wish I could find that my obligations would allow myself to be higher up on that list, since I often feel that my own needs tend to fall at the bottom of the "people to please" list.

I can blame it on my German heritage, growing up on a huge farm in Iowa, the full-time working woman's syndrome. I can say it is a hereditary trait since my parents and brothers have this trait, too. But whoever or whatever is blamed for this trait of mine, it is definitely there. If I am totally honest, it is really ALL ME. My deal. Just.....Simply..... (Sigh!).....Mine....

SO, my thought is today: If I could really turn into Elasti-woman, would I then feel satisfied with what I accomplished in any given day? Or, would my standards for what is "ENOUGH" simply just become even more unrealistic? Hmmmm................